The roads are alive! Beware!

Something has gone wrong with the road surface.  It bubbles and bursts like lava before me, making it difficult to drive and making me appear to be horribly drunk. Many nights I have spent studying the surfaces, poking them with sticks, touching them with the tip of my tongue, fondling them, laughing with them.  Haha!  The roads, they have a mind you know, they are all connected with one another, forming a neural network and allowing them the pleasure of knowing the feel of tyre on bitumen, the slow absorbsion of slurreys of blood from road accidents, the burrr burr of death.  They enjoy the vibration of our motors, revel in the tickle of bicycle tyres.  They realign themselves at will and through their telekinetic powers fool us into thinking nothing has changed.  But it all changes, it will all change, every day the road is different.  Why, only last week I slept in my car only to awaken and find myself somewhere off the coast of Alaska, shivering in my seat.  Yes, they have found the shipping lanes!  It is only a matter of time before they find the flight paths, then the jet paths, then out into the universe mankind will travel on long slithering sleek two dimensional directors of doom.